I am in many groups online, some thru Facebook, some are not.
And I read a lot of complaints about “rules of the house” - and whether someone agrees with those rules or not.
There have been some very adamant stands - on both sides of the fence.
I haven’t gotten involved in any of the discussions - just holding my words.
But this morning, as I sit here drinking coffee I got to thinking. (Dangerous, LOL)
And this is my personal opinion:
Rules of the house - are rules of the house.
And they apply to anyone, to everyone - or they apply to no one.
Regardless of age or relationship.
Either a person abides by the rules of the house, or they leave.
And if a person is not willing to abide by the rules of the house, regardless of where they are
- are they are willing to abide by any rules of any house?
- if so, what makes one house better than another?
If it’s not our house, we don’t get to decide if the rules are fair or right.
Who do we think we are to assume that the rules do not apply to us? For whatever reason.
There are a lot of rules and governing laws in our land today that I don’t agree with - but I still live here, and abide by those rules and laws.
- and how often do I get upset when others break those same laws that I may not like when they apply to me? Speed limit comes to mind ;) I can see the danger of someone driving too fast - but me? Oh, I am a safe driver! (my off-balanced reasoning ;) )
There are rules in businesses, whether we are working there, or shopping there - perhaps rules we don’t agree with, so do we continue to work there? Or shop there?
- what we can wear, how long we can stay (or have to stay), what we can say out loud while there, what we can do in the business or work place.
There are rules in restaurants which we may not agree with - do we continue to go out to eat there?
- what we can wear, what we can do while there.
I remember when Rick and I took my momma out for her very first ever restaurant meal. She enjoyed it so much - until we were finished, and the waitress came by to pick up the dishes. Momma got up and was going to go wash the dishes! Rick and I told her that wasn’t her place here, and she got so upset that she refused to go back to any restaurant! She would allow us to bring her a hamburger, or if we wanted to go thru the drive thru and get a burger that was ok - but NO! She could never be talked into going out to eat again!
Are there rules on an airplane?
What about rules when in a casino?
Campground or hiking trail rules?
Honestly, where are there NO “rules of the house”? ? ?
There has been a time or two that I have left a business or restaurant without shopping or ordering a meal, because I disagreed with a particular “rule of the house”.
- There are not many places left that someone can smoke inside. But since I am highly allergic to cigarette, or cigar, smoke - I have left a business, restaurant, that allowed (or allows) smoking. No disrespect intended to the smoker, no disrespect intended to the business or restaurant, I just can’t tolerate it.
I have been in many different homes - homes that have rules which I don’t agree with
- but because it is not MY home, and because I am a guest there - - I will abide by those rules while I am there.
Granted, I may never go back to that home ;) but still
- while I am there, I will abide and adhere to the rules.
- if for no other reason than out of honor for the one whose home it is.
And if I choose not to go back?
That’s my choice and my right.
Just because I don’t agree with a particular rule - whether house, restaurant, work place, or business - does not give me the right to be rude, hateful, obnoxious, and talk about it to others.
If I have such an issue with the rules, in my opinion, there is a right way, and a not-so-right way, of leaving, of not going back.
Talk to management - one on one.
See if there is a measure of reconciliation and agreement.
If so, then that’s a good thing.
If not, then, both can go their own ways with more peace of mind and heart - that at least they tried.
It would be one thing, and something I would argue with, if certain rules only applied to ME -
I can remember rules at different locations that truly did seem to only apply to me.
Where I was called out for doing/saying something that others were very obviously doing the very same thing.
- Back when a lot younger, wearing shorts that were only about 2 inches above the knee, and being told they were “indecent” to be wearing there, while other girls who were more “shapely” walked past with the Daisy-Duke shorts on, cheeks hanging out.
- Being pulled over for going less than 5 mph over the posted speed limit while other other cars are zooming past at a high rate of speed, and the officer never even looking their way.
- Having my job threatened because I was doing what was asked and required of me, but not doing it exactly as someone else would have done it - while others working there were not even trying to do their job.
- Rick and I were staying in an RV park once where we were given a copy of the rules, and had to sign it. We agreed - even though some of them did not make sense to us. As we walked around the park, we saw many things that went against the written rules, but we just figured that was between that particular RV owner and the park. However, we were called on by the management of the park because I had a potted plant sitting at the tongue of our RV - which just for argument sake was NOT against the stated, or implied, rules of the park.
- Even something as unimportant as being called out on Facebook for a post that was in no way offensive, but someone took offense. While I am sitting here reading VERY offensive material - and wondering how someone could NOT be offended by this?
But when the rules are the rules, regardless of who is there or what the situation is, that’s different.
Yet, there are those who will continue to get upset.
My mind keeps wondering though - who are we to think we are “above the law”, even if they are just “rules of the house”?
And when we are singled out - yes, be upset, but handle it wisely, maturely.
Remember too, sometimes (more often than not) house rules are there for our protection, as well as the protection of others - and to insure that we can all continue to be welcome in the "house" - whether someone's home, business, restaurant, shopping center, park, hiking trail, or whatever.