This is an old subject . . . a tired subject to me.
Every so often words that are said about me, against me, find their way to my ears.
And when they do, I take a deep breath, shake my head and tell myself all over again –
It is not my responsibility to make sure all words said about me, or against me, are true and real.
Nor is it my responsibility to stop others from believing what is said.
It isn’t my responsibility to defend myself against those voices either.
I know what has been said, what continues to be said.
And I know where that point of origin is.
Some of these words and voices are ridiculous enough that I laugh, roll my eyes, and shake my head.
A few feel like daggers to the heart because they are so very untrue!
And because others believe them so easily because of who says them.
Again I say, with an extreme tiredness
– if you want to know something about me, about my life? Ask ME.
I can guarantee you that NO ONE knows me as good as I do.
NO ONE is as involved in my day to day life as I am.
And in the words of Rick
– “If you believe everything that is told to you about me? You not only get what you deserve
- - but I will believe everything that is told to me about you.”
Because be sure of this ONE absolute truth
- - if words are said about me, against me, to you . . .
the VERY ONE who says those things is also saying things about you, against you, to ME.
Rick had me promise him, before he died, that I would be an open book
– out of my comfort zone
– while he lived, and after he died.
I strive every day to live that life I promised him.
I am reminded often of the catchphrase
– “Haters gonna hate”.
Sounds very much like something Rick would say 😉
A whole lot of praying, and crying, goes into living life as a widow.
Some breaths I get it closer to right . . . shocks me when it happens.
Just saying.
Other breaths, more often than not, I miss the mark
– stumbling, bumbling, rambling around.
Probably looking more like a drunk squirrel or goofy duck than anything resembling a real human.
But every day, I get up, get dressed, put my hair up, and show up for this thing called “Life”.
Battle weary.
Battle scared.
Widow Warrior.
And regardless of what others say, that counts as a win!
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