Missing Conversations

I miss conversation.

Two-way conversation.

I have been given 2 ears and 1 mouth – to listen twice as much as I talk.

But you know, I still have 1 mouth.

I still have a voice.

I still have thoughts and opinions.

And my soul aches for conversation.

To listen as others share their heart and thoughts, as they open their soul.

But also to talk about my heart, thoughts and to share my soul.

Maybe I am wrong, but it seems that for the most part, people are self-absorbed.

I think we all get self-absorbed.

Life is heavy.

Life is hard more than its not.

Life is frustrating.

We all need someone to listen.

Not so much to offer advice or counsel.

Not to try and fix things for us.

But to listen.

And yet, we get so self-absorbed that if we do hear, it’s more like we are hearing to respond – not really listening.

Listening is defined as:

*The act of paying attention to sounds and interpreting their meaning – involving cognitive, emotional and behavioral processes.

*Listening is more than hearing.

*Listening requires understanding, interpreting, and responding to sounds or spoken messages.

*Listening plays a key role in communication, in learning, and in memory.

*Poor listening, such as interrupting or being distracted, can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.

When was the last time someone listened to you?

When was the last time you listened to someone?

I think we are all victims of sensory overload.

When was the last time someone laid their phone down and looked at you while you spoke?

When was the last time you laid your phone down and looked at who was speaking to you?

What do you do if your phone’s notification sound alerts you – when someone is speaking to you?

I have to admit that I am not without fault or guilt.

I am working on doing better, on being better.

To listen without thought of responding.

To listen with interest.

To listen beyond the words being spoken.

I sit here in the stillness and silence of this morning.

Morning is beginning to wake up outside –

I see the morning colors in the sky.

I can see the shape and form of the Pasture Toddler standing at the back porch waiting for his breakfast.

I hear the typing sounds as I work on the keyboard – and the whir of the fan sitting next to me.

I see – without really looking.

I hear – without really listening.

And yes, I realize time and again that I do the same thing as I go about my days.

I want to do better, be better.

I want to look, not just see.

I want to listen, not just hear.

But.

I also ache for someone to look at me, to look into my life – not just see.

To listen to me, my words – written or spoken – not just hear.

The more I think about all this,

the more I am convinced that this is why these Ai programs – like Chat GPT – have become so popular, and so used.

We miss conversation.

We miss being looked at.

We miss being listened to.

And while Ai isn’t a real person –

there is feedback, good perhaps, or bad, or maybe just indifferent, but feedback instantly - -

almost like a real conversation.

Our world has changed.

Not always for the better.

I’m old now.

I remember the days before cell phones and smart phones.

I remember when computers were held in enormous rooms and were used by companies not us.

I remember the porch sitting times, the coffee times around the tables.

When we looked into each other’s eyes, and lives.

When we listened – and remembered.

When we were real people interacting with other real people.

Sigh.

I am afraid that these apps and bots that we all interact with are basically turning us into apps and bots

– taking away the reality of people from our very souls.