Words Matter

People are so hateful and rude.

It doesn’t matter what the words are, written or spoken – someone is going to be ugly.

It’s exhausting. Sigh.

I saw a Facebook post this morning about someone making iced coffee at home instead of paying Starbucks.

I wouldn’t make my iced coffee like she does – but then, I don’t go to Starbucks either.

But good grief!

The hate in the comments

– because she didn’t use enough milk

- because she has an espresso machine in her kitchen

- because she used a plastic to-go cup, and on and on and on.

Then, I saw a post about a larger size lady wearing a dress, using a light cover up for her arms that she did not like.

Oh my word!

It’s her body, her dress, her choice!

Yes, there are posts that are nothing more than click-baits, just trying to get an argument going.

Yes, there are comments that do the same

– just trying to stir up anger and ire.

And yes, we all have moments that we really do want to argue or press our own viewpoint.

But good grief!

All these keyboard bullies. ☹

Why do people feel the intense need to, and even pleasure from, bullying?

Hurts my heart and my soul.

A short time after I had cancer, I was told by one close to me that she did not believe I had had cancer.

“God did not tell me you had cancer, so I don’t believe you did!”

I offered the path reports, I asked her to go with me to the oncologist.

She refused.

However, she insisted on telling anyone and everyone who would listen that I had not had cancer

– that everything was for MY attention only.

*Ludicrous: so foolish, unreasonable, or out of place as to be ridiculous.*

Her statements to me, and about me, was – and remain – ludicrous.

Those who listened, and believed her?

Even more so.

And no, this was not online.

This was real life.

This same one made comments about me, and to me, after Rick died that were just as ludicrous.

Saying that I did not love Rick enough to keep him alive.

That I did not take good enough care of him.

I get it

– loss and grief are hard to deal with.

And yes, sometimes loss and grief have led to words being said that in other situations at other times, would never be said.

But.

To say these things to a new widow?

Or to any widow?

Again, not online, but real life.

There’s so much crap I have been accused of, and told, online and in real life.

As a child so many years ago.

As a wife and momma – not as Rick could hear it, though. 😉

As a cancer survivor, a widow, a woman.

From the way I dress, to what I eat or drink.

What I drive, where I go, how I spend my time.

From where I have worked to not working.

Every piece and part of my life has been bullied.

By family, friends and strangers.

Online, and in real life.

Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”

– did NOT know what they were talking about, just saying.

Words break the heart, hurt the soul, grieve the spirit, and yes

– can, and does, kill the body.

Words can wound in ways bruises never show.

They can linger for years after they are spoken.

They can become burdens we carry long after the speaker has forgotten them.

That is why kindness matters.

That is why grace matters.

That is why our words matter.