The heart can only take so much breaking and pain at a time.Just my 2 cents - but I think this is the heart's way of breaking, and healing - breath by breath, little by little.Rick and I went through a lot of grief the last 15 years of his life - we lost about 150 people from family & friends in those years.He once said that dealing with grief was like rain.If it rains so much so quickly the grounds cannot process it - it floods and causes devastation.If it rains slower, the grounds can gather it, use it, even saving it - causing life and growth.Perhaps he was right.The heart and mind processes grief at a rate that I can keep breathing, keep moving, keep being.

“Set me as a seal upon your heart,

"Life as I knew it came to a jarring standstill. Thinking back, it was like being completely immersed in reading a book, but then suddenly, midsentence, the rest of the story disappeared. Blank pages. Everything gone, vanished. Only the past was left, no more future. The blank pages turned black and I fell into a dark nothingness. Nothingness and paralyzing grief." {author unknown}   In these years since becoming a widow, I have read thousands upon thousands upon thousands of words about grief. NONE have described it with such detail and depth.