Thanksgiving has changed greatly from years ago.
Daddy and Momma did not “do” Thanksgiving when I was a kid growing up.
There were times when the older kids and their families would come over and we would all sit down to a meal – but I don’t remember a “special” get together or food.
When Rick and I married, Thanksgiving was divided – time with my parents (even though they did not celebrate the day), time with his parents, time with both sides of his grandparents.
It was a hectic day! 😊
A couple of years after our kids came along, I wanted to do Thanksgiving at our house.
A tradition was born – one that carried us through the next 10 years or so.
Rick and I would begin shopping for the day the first payday in November.
And we added to the growing foods until the week of Thanksgiving.
Then, we would spend hours getting the house, and the food, ready for the “big day”.
We invited parents, grandparents, siblings, all family and friends.
We had Thanksgiving days when the house was filled to overflowing – a table set up in the living room, and chairs borrowed from the church.
We had Thanksgiving days when it was just the 4 of us, with maybe 1 or 2 more.
I remember 1 Thanksgiving when Rick drove almost an hour to pick up the precious lady who had been our Sunday School teacher those years of growing up – Miss Romy.
She was an elderly lady, her husband had died, and she was living on her own – that particular year, her kids had decided to do something other than a big get together.
Rick and I could not heart-handle the thought of her being alone.
So, she was brought to our home, and we laughed, we talked, we cried a little, we remembered.
Such a Blessed day with her!
When our kids grew up and began their families, Rick and I found ourselves more alone on Thanksgiving than not.
Some of those times were spent just him and I – we cooked a smaller feast, ate too much, and took a long nap afterwards. Some of those days were spent at a truck stop – looking for others who were alone, and visiting with them as much as possible, as much as they wanted to.
And then, these last 10 years.
This year making my 11th one as a widow.
Times have been spent with our kids and their families.
A couple have been spent alone.
A couple with others.
All have been shrouded in memories of other times.
Earlier this morning I was on Facebook scrolling, seeing and reading some of the Thanksgiving posts.
And I stopped at one.
This one asked a question – “In this season of Thanksgiving, giving thanks and being grateful – what are you NOT thankful for?”
The idea was to write out what you are NOT thankful for, getting it out of the mind and heart, making room for more that we ARE thankful and grateful for.
I had never thought of doing this – but have been chewing on it this morning since.
So, what am I NOT thankful for?
I am not thankful that Rick died.
I don’t like doing this life without him.
I miss him a crazy amount!
I am not thankful to see and know the physical & financial aches and pains that my kids are enduring.
Surviving yes, but it’s a great struggle every day – and some days are worse than others.
I am not thankful to feel so unsettled in my life.
Not knowing for sure where I will be tomorrow, next week, next year, 5 years from now.
It’s different when you do not have a home of your own.
I am not thankful to have a vehicle that is so messed up that I can have no confidence in driving it more than 5 miles
– and even then, wondering if it will get me there and back.
I am not thankful for the ignorance and unkindness of people.
Sitting here writing these words of what I am NOT thankful for – I realize just how much I AM thankful for, too.
So much more!
I am thankful for the time that Rick and I laughed, loved, and lived.
The good times, the hard times, even the arguments.
I am thankful for our kids being strong and determined, even on the hardest days.
I am thankful for our kids and grandkids caring about me.
I am thankful for a vehicle that despite all the odds against it, still gets me 5 miles down the road, and occasionally to the grocery store.
I am thankful to have a roof over my head, and “me things about me”.
A place that is warmer than outside on a cold day, and cooler than the summer heat.
A place that keeps the rain off and the wind out.
I am thankful to have food to eat and things to drink – even if it’s not always what sounds good 😉
I am thankful to have clothes to wear – even the ones that are feeling more like a tent, because of the 80 pounds I have lost this year 😉
I am thankful to have lost 80 pounds so far!
I am thankful to have this computer, this table to sit at while I write, a fairly comfortable chair to sit in, and Internet access.
I am thankful to have a phone.
I am thankful to have my senses – sight, smell, taste, feel, hearing.
Might not always use my common sense, 😉 – but I got it.
My mind, heart and soul, overflow with thankfulness today – so much more than what I am NOT thankful for.
God has always been so good to me.
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