Thanks-LIVING

Rick was not a bah-humbug, Mr Scrooge, when it came to holidays.

But he had a very solid conviction.

“If I can only do this 1 day a year? Or even just 1 season? Why do it at all?”

There is a back-story to every holiday of the year.

This is about Thanksgiving.

He decided early in our marriage that we were to live a life of Thanks-living.

To be thankful and grateful for the big things in life, yes.

But also to pay attention and be thankful and grateful for the little things, and those tiniest things that no one ever seems to notice.

It could be something in nature

– how many times have we stopped in the midst of being SO busy, and just watched a sunrise or sunset, or a rainbow, a certain cloud, a tree that was amazing, a butterfly that landed near or on us, a tiny hummingbird, the smallest blue flower we had ever seen, and a hundred thousand more.

It could be something in someone

– telling them how much we appreciated their smile or laughter, a word of kindness or encouragement that they spoke to us, the color of their shirt that made their eyes seem to sparkle, a glass of tea that they offered us or a simple glass of water, their handwriting that was so clear and easy to read, always looking for that 1 thing to say “thank you” for.

I remember bringing Rick a cup of coffee, he took it, sat it down on the table.

Then, he took my hand in his, and said, “I just want you to know how much I love you and appreciate you taking care of me.” Wow.

I was not feeling good one day, hadn’t felt good in several days, tummy bug was wreaking havoc on me.

Rick had told me that morning to just snuggle on the couch for the day, “ordered” me not to do one thing 😉

When he came home that afternoon, he was smiling and holding something behind his back.

I weakly lifted my head from the pillow, wondering what this man was up to.

He said, “These are for you.”

And he handed me a bag of Muncho chips – my all-time favorite chip and the perfect thing to settle an angry tummy!

I knew his route had not taken him by any store that day

– but he had found a small country store down a back road and they had these.

I cried with appreciation and love – told him many times after that how much it meant to me.

Through the years that we would say “Thank you” to someone – for big things or the little things – we were often met with a look of confusion.

“I was just doing my job.”

Or, “I didn’t think anyone cared.”

Sometimes there were words of how much us noticing meant to them.

Sometimes it was a hug of gratitude.

Sometimes they simply walked away shaking their head with a backwards look at us.

We ordered pizza one Friday evening from the local Pizza Hut.

No delivery, so Rick went and picked it up.

That was THE BEST pizza we had ever had, before or since!

The next morning I called the manager of the Pizza Hut.

When she answered the phone, her words were:

“Hello. What was wrong with your pizza?”

I said, “Nothing.”

Silence on the line.

“So why are you calling me?” she asked.

“We just wanted to tell you that whoever made that pizza last night should get a raise and promotion!

It was THE BEST pizza we have ever had – and we have eaten pizza from one end of the United States to the other, and all points in between!

It was perfection in a pie! Thank you!”

Silence again.

Then when she spoke, my heart broke and I have remembered her words –

“I want you to know that I have been working in food service for 22 years. This is the FIRST time anyone has ever said “Thank you” or “job well done”. I have never heard those words.”

A longer conversation then took place, and a friend was made.

That conversation sealed the decision that Rick and I had made to be thankful and grateful.

To not allow negativity to rule our minds, our hearts or souls, and for sure not our mouths.

We all have a bad day.

We all need to vent our angers, our frustrations, our struggles.

We all have days that being grumpy and grouchy is about the best we can do – that day, or in that moment.

We all get short-tempered, stressed, ill-spirited.

We all even have “mean moments” – when we are rude or hateful.

BUT.

What is my heart?

Is my heart one that lives in those “bad days”?

Or is my heart one that lives in gratitude and thankfulness?

Rick said that the test was this –

If others notice me being grumpy or grouchy, and it’s unusual for them to see or hear, then that is an indication that I do not live there.

If others never really notice me being grumpy and grouchy, I need to take a step back and see if that’s where I have settled.

It is so easy to only say “Thank you” for the big things.

Too easy to let the little things pass on by just as a matter of life and course.

I want to be so aware and alert that I notice the little things –

and courageous enough to say “Thank you”.

It was easier when Rick was alive.

We shared those moments together – even when we were apart, we would talk about them when we got together, or make a quick phone call.

How many times has my phone rang and I would hear Rick’s voice saying, “I have got to tell you about this!”

Sometimes it was an interaction between him and someone else.

Often, because of his routes that took him down the back roads, it was a turtle in the road, or a deer in the pasture, or a flower that made him think of me, or the wind was blowing a tree in just the right position, or that cloud that looked so much like a teddy bear, or . . .

I miss Rick.

More than anyone knows.

Oh, I miss the big things about Rick and our life.

But, the things I miss the most, the gut punches of being a widow, are the little things.

Like sharing what we were thankful and grateful for – moment by moment, hour by hour, day after day.

Thank you, Rick.

For teaching me the art of Thanks-living.

I will always love you.

And miss you as much as I love you.